Dog Pee, Meet Ass-Crack

Larry,

What's up brother? I haven't written in a while so I wanted to drop you a line and tell you hello, see how you were doing, etc. Me, I'm doing much better. I did experience a hepatitis scare a couple of weeks back but it turns out that I don't have viral hepatitis after all. Just a little liver damage from too much drinky drink. I should be fine in a month or two.

Last night, Anna had gotten into bed around 10:45. I usually get in after her because I have to brush, wash my hands, floss, gargle with mouthwash, snort some saline spray into my nostrils, apply moisturizer to my hands, and get a glass of water for the bedside table. Usually, I need an extra 15 minutes. Usually, she's asleep before I even make it to the bed. Last night was no different and as I climbed into bed she was quickly drifting off into Sleepyland. Xander, on the other hand was acting a little nutso. This is not unusual. Normally, I take him out to pee and poo right before bed. For whatever reason, this process reinvigorates him and briefly, he gets this shot of adrenaline and typically runs around barking like a dog on crystal meth. So, I jumped into bed and grabbed my book (Stephen King's new novel which is excellent by the way) and settled in for some lighting reading before I called it a night. As a slid under the warm and inviting sheets, Xander almost immediately dived under with me. Sometimes, he likes to hunker down under the covers and snuggle up close to my near-naked body. But this time, he just kept going, making his way in between my outstretched legs. I was nervous because he was scratching and biting and I was afraid that he was going to get hold of something that I consider pretty valuable. I was lucky in that respect. He didn't make a run for my cherries. He just peed right there between my legs, soaking the bed, my underwear and (gulp), my anus. I had no choice but to run, not walk, to the bathroom and shower. Anna wasn't happy or all that helpful with the cleanup. But she did ok for someone that was on the verge of REM sleep. I'm glad that she was there to help out.

All is well. I've been tainted. On the taint, ironically.

I hope that you are well and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Paul