Fridays

Larry,

It's been too long. I've been prodded into writing by my persistent neighbors. I gave in, reluctantly, even though you 1) did not show up for the wedding and 2) did not send a gift. Shame on you, sir.

All is forgiven. I haven't much time but I did want to share a couple of things with you before I go home for the long-overdue weekend.

Last night, I was preparing to see the doctor. You remember, Dr. Tu, right? Anyway, I had stripped down to my boxers when I suddenly decided that I needed some water. So, I ran out into the living room and into the kitchen to snag a bottle from the fridge when the doorbell rang. I froze. The path from the kitchen to the bathroom is visible from the front door. So, I thought, I'll just dart through the living room and if they see me, then they see me. I ran back to the bedroom and put all my clothes back on, and then hustled to the front door to see who it was. It was 3 kids selling subscriptions to the Commercial Appeal, our local newspaper. They started in with their spiel and I said, in sort of a country accent, "Commercial Appeal? Is that like a religious cult?". They laughed and explained that it was, in fact, a newspaper and further, that by buying a subscription, I'd be helping one of them pay for college. I immediately informed them, after my little joke, that I wasn't interested in the tripe that they were selling but that I appreciated them asking. They, still reeling from my amazing little one act, thanked me for doing something out of the ordinary and making their visit to my place different. "Different", I said, "Did you just see me run through the house half-naked?"

Silence. They left, hurriedly, mumbling things that I didn't want to hear. I sure know how to kill a party.

Speaking of killing, I was cutting up a tomato the other night with an awesome Cutco knife and I sliced my thumb up pretty bad. This is, by itself, uninteresting. However, today I was in the locker room, changing when I reopened the nasty laceration. It started to bleed profusely. I had one shoe on and one shoe off-I had just gotten out of the shower-so I hopped over to the paper towel dispenser to attempt to stop the bleeding. Just then Dave S. was getting out of the shower. I'm hopping around on one foot with blood dripping from my digits. So, naturally he asks what happened. And I said very calmly, "I cut myself...on purpose". You should have seen the look on his face. Priceless.

Cutters are fascinating, by the way.

I've got some more stuff for you and I'll get it to you this weekend.

Paul