The Wire

Larry,

What up dog? Lots going on here but I can't even begin to cover it all. However, something happened this week that reminded me of an episode of CYE. I am moving soon, as you know. I am intent upon getting rid of the home phone. Truth be told, I get more telemarketing calls than I do calls for me so I don't feel like I will miss it all that much. So, in order to get rid of the home phone, I had to set up a wireless network so that I can connect to the Tivo service everyday to download the program guide. Hence, the wireless network. Long story short, it was a pain in the ass. 2 days of torture and frustration but finally I got it. Now I can get rid of the home phone. But you know what the best thing about it is? I had this 100 ft long telephone cord that stretched halfway around my living space. Not that big a deal unless you're a big shot Hollywood movie star. Nevertheless, it was a chore. Specifically, because it crossed the threshold between the living room and the bedroom so I had to walk over it every time that I went to the bathroom, and you know that this trip is a trip that I take frequently. Needless to say, I have tripped over this cord maybe twice a day for the last 3 years. It's very annoying. Now, the cord is gone and the corner of the room is clear of any obstruction. It's so amazing, this feeling of relief and satisfaction. The funny thing is though, that every time that I walk by this space, I find that I am stepping over this cord that is no longer there. It will take some time, I'm sure, to get used to it not being there. Still, it's very disconcerting each time that I realize I am stepping over this invisible cord. It reminded me of that episode of your show, although, between you and me, I've never seen it. I believe that I fell asleep before I got to the end of the DVD and never went back and watched it. I mean, I know that you moved because of some wire, but that's about it. Anyway, I thought that my cord issue was like that phenomenon when the amputees have this sensation in their limbs that are no longer there. Except in my case, it's the phantom cord.

So, that's been the most satisfying thing that's happened all week. Inconsequential to some, but it makes all the difference to me. You know what I'm talking about.

I hope that you are well.

Sincerely,

Paul

Got Religion?

Dear Larry,

Hey! I just needed to vent a little. Not real happy with the work situation right now. I'm stuck doing menial tasks so often these days that I almost dread going to work. Today was no different. I had to move PCs again. Usually I have some help from colleagues but apparently all have decided that they are too busy to do this sort of grunt work which leaves me the only responsible party. I mean, here I am with an MBA and yet I am stuck doing work that a high school kid could do. On one hand, it tickles me a little to be paid so well to do what amounts to heavy lifting but on the other hand I feel ashamed that I have been relegated to perform such a chore. So, this morning after having moved two people's computers, which was completely pointless by the way, I headed back downstairs. For some reason I stopped by a copy room, for what I can't recall. I think that maybe I wanted to sabotage a printer or something. Instead, I found several leaflets advertising some sort of church Easter function nearby. How inappropriate! You know that I work for the government so I don't need to tell you how important the separation of church and state is to our lives, nay our very existence. Well, principle got the better of me. I searched furtively for a pen and having found one, and without arousing any suspicion, I returned to the copy room and proceeded to scribble 666 on each of the four flyers. I felt better. And hopefully I taught someone a very important lesson about what should and should not be discussed in the workplace. You know as well as anyone that I have nothing against religion. I wouldn't say that I am areligious. In fact, I think that I happen to be religiousful. At the very least, I am cognizant that religion exists and that I should be thankful for God when good things happen.

Not a very eventful day by any means. But I do hope that I have pointed out to someone the error of his or her ways. It is the least that I can do.

I hope that California is as wonderful now as it has been here for the last week or so. Talk to you soon.

Paul