OC

Larry,

I don't know if you watch The OC. It's a guilty pleasure of mine and I'm not at all ashamed to admit it. In high definition, it's one of the most stunning shows to watch during primetime. And I'm not even talking about Rachel Bilson, although she is quite fetching in HD. However, she's just as fetching in regular def so maybe I'm a little biased when it comes to her character, Summer Roberts.

If you do watch it, I know a secret. I'm sure that lots of people know by now but I wanted to tell someone because I just can't keep secrets bottled up. It will kill me. Must let it out.

Marrissa Cooper dies tonight.

Hope that I didn't ruin it for you.

Later,

Paul

Stanford

Larry,

Hi ho. Remember how I was telling you that I filled out a questionnaire about Stanford on iTunes? Here it is. I'll let you know if I hear anything. Hey, you live in California. Pull some strings, my bro.

I believe that you should offer something of a reward to those students of learning that listen to your online lectures. What, do you ask? I feel that the decent thing to do would be to offer them a distance learning degree or an honorary degree of some sort. Set a goal for the number of hours that one must reach and then, when they've completed the requirements, give them a degree. Don't you give out honorary degrees for celebrities? Why not people like me? I'm not good enough? I haven't been in a blockbuster summer movie? Big deal. I bet you anything I'm smarter than Rob Schneider. Have you seen any of his movies?

Keep up the good work. I'm enjoying the lectures. I'll keep you posted on my progress. But if you decide that you want to offer these remote learning degrees, and you want to keep it on the DL, I'll keep quiet. I'll just hang it in my study with the other two degrees...that I bought on eBay. Just kidding. I earned them. Not from such an esteemed college as Stanford, but an accredited university nonetheless.

Paul Little

ps. I wrote this a few weeks ago and still haven't heard anything so I'm guessing I won't be the first to receive their Distance Learning Degree from Stanford. Who needs 'em? Maybe I'll just talk to Berkley. They are probably more open-minded anyway.

Later,

Paul

A Little Break

Larry,

Hey again. I just wanted to remind you that you are invited to the wedding and to let you know that if you don't want to make the trip from California, you can always elect to simply send a gift. I'm thinking, Prius, but whatever you want to do is fine by me. Personally, I wouldn't want to go either. Weddings are just painful. I often think back fondly to the best wedding that I ever attended. This was more than 10 years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. The ceremony lasted all of ten minutes. Now that's the way a wedding should be. Short and sweet. Most marriages don't last long so why put everybody through a long and painful ceremony? It just makes sense to cut it short. People dread the ceremony and only suffer through that for the reception. At least, that's always been my position. Hopefully, ours won't be that painful.

Anna and I were talking about the ceremony itself and we were thinking of ways to make it a little more interesting. I suggested that in the middle of the vows, I pull out a long serrated knife and ceremoniously cut each others palms. Then have the priestess tie our hands together with a scarf or something. That idea, while Anna did find it amusing, was vetoed almost immediately.

Anyway, there are no live links yet on our wedding site yet, you can check it out if you want to hear an excellent Barry White song that Anna swears has a ten-minute long intro. See for yourself. I miss Ally McBeal.

We'll be updating the site this weekend. Hopefully.

Prius.

Talk to you soon,

Paul

iPaul

Larry,

Hey again. I've been meaning to ask you something but I keep forgetting so while I'm thinking about it, I'm going to ask you. Do you have an iPod? What am I saying, you probably have a million gigabyte platinum iPod. What am I saying, you're old and you probably wouldn't know how to work it even if you did have one. No offence. But just in case you do, I wanted to tell you that both Berkley and Stanford are offering class lectures for free to download onto your mp3 player. In case you're interested in learning about Microeconomics or European History or US Foreign Policy. My favorite lecture so far is entitled "Why Zebras Don't get Ulcers", on the Stanford site. It's fascinating. And the professor is hilarious.

I hope that you enjoy it and if you don't know what an mp3 player is, then forget I mentioned it.

Once, when I was downloading some classes to my iPod from the Stanford site, I was asked to participate in a quick survey about Stanford on iTunes. I filled it out and near the end of the survery, there was a blank space where one could add any comments so I asked them if I could earn a degee, provided that I listen to all of the course material. I still haven't heard back from them. But that would be awesome. I'd love to add a few more degrees to my Wall of Degrees, which at present holds exactly two.

I think that's enough for one day.

No wait, there's more. Anna and I just purchased a domain for our website. I'll tell you about that later. I have to be productive since I've taken the day off. On second thought, maybe I should use this free time to relax.

Did you see Jerry and Julia and Jason on SNL this weekend? That intro was great. Where was Michael?

I'll write more later. Really. I'm going to spend some time alone in thoughtful meditation.

Paul

Poem pt. 1

And now, a poem that has nothing to do with anything and yet, means everything. I didn't write this, Jacob did. Thanks, Jacob.

Asbestos tragedies,
mesotheliomas
happen most frequently
inside folks' pleuras.

Then they get bloodthirsty
mesothelioma
lawyers to harass their
stingy insurers.