Tuesday, December 20, 2005

My brother, the pimp

Dear Larry,
It's been a while. How have you been? Me? Oh, I've been doing ok. I'm not a huge fan of the Christmas time to be honest. More on that later. My brother told me a secret and he swore me to secrecy but I cannot keep a secret. I must tell someone. So, when I confess to him that I told Larry David, he won't be upset. Frankly, he might not even recognize your name. Nevertheless, he shouldn't be too bothered.
Anyway, he confided in me that he had begun a sexual relationship with a woman named Joyce. Not because he cares for her as much as she has a car that she lets him borrow frequently. In fact, I think that Joyce is (or at this point, was) quite smitten with him. If you knew him, you'd find this pretty amazing. He's a swell fellow but not much for the settling down. This wasn't the secret, though. The secret was that he had also taken up with her daughter, who's name eludes me at the moment. She's a bit on the young side. Anyway, he carried on with the two of them for a little while without them knowing about his relationship with the other. Pretty cool. That's like one of those goals that, as men, we hope to one day attain, but never really believe that it will ever happen. For instance, the menage et trois is another such goal. That one ranks a little higher than the other but I think that you get my point. Anyway, he can scratch one off of the list.
I'm so very proud.
Hope all is well.
Happy Chanukah!
ps. Don't tell anyone.
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