Monday, October 03, 2005

Memphis Drivers

Larry, old boy. How was your weekend. Mine? Nice, thanks. Had some great Thai food and did some much needed yard work. But I did forget to mention the incident that happened on the way home from the Doctor's office on Friday. I was driving home, going my usual route down one of the Parkways, when out of the blue this car on my left starts to drift in my lane. I honked my horn because when people drive like shit, I want them to be aware of it. How else are they to know that they drive like shit if good samaritans like me, don't tell them. So, quickly the car moved back into it's lane and I was momentarily relieved. That is, until the car started slowing down. Was I afraid? No. Not at all. It was a big green jalopy and I knew by the make and model of the car, coupled with the speed at which this car was moving, I was dealing with an old person. Older than you, my friend. No offense. So, she's (it turns out that the driver was a woman) slowing down and we are quickly approaching a red light. She rolls her window down and I can tell that she's trying to tell me something so I oblige by rolling down my window as well. She asks me, somewhat annoyed, what's the problem. And here's where it gets frustrating because I have the opportunity to rip into her like Conan the Barbarian, fresh from the sword sharpening shop. And I say to her, "Yes, the problem is your driving". She quickly retorts, "What's the problem with my driving?" I've got her right where I want her. So I say, "Your driving is a big piece of crap!" That's the best I can do. So often, we are confronted with situations in which we are speechless. If we could only take a moment or two to really collect our thoughts, we'd possibly have something poignant or witty or acerbic to say. But most of the time, we are idiots. Dumbfounded or mute or unintelligible. At least I am. Funny side note-she apologized for her poor driving and went about her merry way. Kind of takes the fun out of it.

I have more but I'll tell you later. Nothing too exciting, I promise.

Talk to you soon,