Dead To Me

Larry,

This isn't the time nor the place to call out Stephen Colbert for stealing my ideas, but I did want to point out that I began a Dead-To-Me List back when it was unfashionable to do so. I was adding people to the list left and right all throughout my tumultuous twenties. A couple of years ago, when My Name is Earl premiered, I purged everyone from the list and decided that I'd be a little more thoughtful with regard to new additions. Like the novelty of MNIE, my maturity didn't last long. The list has since fluctuated between obesity and anorexia, depending on my particular mood. Lately, I haven't given it much thought. Until Sunday, that is.

I decided to do the grocery shopping on Sunday, before the girls made it back from Mississippi. Forced to choose between exorbitant Miss Cordelias and sketchy Kroger on Cleveland, I chose the latter because of the savings that I would certainly reap with my Kroger Plus Card. As I approached the store, I noticed a down-trodden and quite possibly inebriated fellow urinating in the parking lot. I can't say that I was completely unsympathetic to his plight but I was disgusted nonetheless. I promptly informed the security guard on duty and began my shopping. However, a fellow lady shopper belched within earshot of me and I decided to cut and run. I sought out greener pastures at the Kroger in midtown. Smart move on my part.

Needless to say, Kroger at 1366 Poplar Ave. in Memphis, TN, you are Dead to Me.

Hope everything is well in California. Your house didn't burn down in the Great Fire of 2007, did it? I hope not.

Paul