Conspiracy Theory

Larry,

What is up, my friend? Not much here. My mom ruined my day today. You know that I had hepatitis, right? Well, officially, the doctors all said that it was hepatic toxicity. A subtle distinction, or maybe, not depending on who you ask. I think, given the manner in which one contracts hepatitis, that the difference is a big deal. I mean, it's the difference between eating poop or mixing acetaminophen and alcohol. I'd like to think that I didn't eat poop. Technically, there are 3 main types of Hepatitis. A, B, and C are all viral. One involves sex, one is contracted from eating the poop, and one you can get from blood transfusions or dirty instruments. In short, my mom said that she talked to some nurses and they all agree that I contracted Hepatitis B from my shoulder surgery and now the doctors at St. Francis are covering their respective asses by telling me that it was hepatic toxicity. So, it would seem that I am the subject of a great medical cover-up. This must be my 15 minutes but watch as I milk it for all that it's worth.

I'm going to do some digging; get an independent blood test from some impartial street doctor. Do those kinds of doctors exist? They do on TV so it must be true. I should probably go ahead and call 20/20. But I don't need people digging into my past. Who knows what they will find.

Anyway, my mom broke the news to me this morning. It's really cast a pall over this otherwise beautifully crisp Spring day.

To be continued...

Paul