Out of Order

Larry,

Did I tell you that I witnessed a crime? No? Well then, let me tell you my tale.

It was late one night, a couple of weeks ago. I was outside at midnight hoping to catch a glimpse of a falling star or some other astrological phenomenon when suddenly, a woman's cry pierced the night like a metal stud does a nubile woman's ear. Frightened, I peered out from behind my fence to see what was afoot and sure as I looked, I spied a group of 4 people standing around a car. Two men and two women were present, of this I was sure. From the woman's continued screams, I could tell that she was distressed. I ran inside hurriedly to call the police. They did not respond quickly. I remained on the phone with them for ten minutes giving them my location and alerting them to the obvious-one of the men was abusing one of the women. By the time I got off of the phone with the police dispatcher, I missed most of the action. In fact, my last glimpse of the fray was simply of a man peering out of an apartment door, obviously checking to see if the ruckus had coaxed anyone out of their homes. He then retreated inside and I waited for the police to come.

The police showed up about 20 minutes after I had placed the call. A police officer came over to talk to me and then he approached, cautiously, the apartment in question. The abuser answered the door and was apparently sprayed with the pepper spray. Good job, police! They handcuffed him and as they led him to the cruiser, I brazenly yelled, "That's what you get for hitting a woman, B1TCH!" His head hung low so I don't think that I was spotted.

After all of the excitement, the arresting office came to take my statement. I offered what I knew and kindly gave him my address and phone number, adding that I would be happy to testify should he be tried for anything. The officer insisted that the personal information was for the records only and that I wouldn't be bothered in the future.

This was a lie. Don't get me wrong. I feel like it's my civic duty to testify however, I also feel that it's a police officer's responsibility to be honest with the citizenry. Maybe honesty is too much to ask. Still, I am thankful that they responded when they did. I could see how a domestic squabble might quickly get out of hand. I hope that the defendant spends some time behind bars although I fear that I will not be a very good witness for the prosecution.

I'll be at 201 Polar at 9:00 AM on the 27th of this month, being civic-minded. And because I have seen Dog Day Afternoon, you can expect a fiery testimonial from me regarding this heinous crime.

To be continued…

Paul